Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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