can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
