I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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