never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
