I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
