HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
