we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
