Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize