he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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