I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just want nice things and good sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
