I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
