So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize