Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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