I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
