Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
