If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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