But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
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Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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