You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
