what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
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Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
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I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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