No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
