What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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