I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize