dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
