the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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