Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
