nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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