Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
of course. lets lasso hookers.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
