2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
