Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think my vagina is haunted
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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