i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
