on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
