First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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