so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
