Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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