he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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