I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And then he peed in my hair
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