Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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