i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
