R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
