btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
NoShamevember. You game?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
