she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
