Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...