kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.