It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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