You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize