Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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