i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
