just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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