I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
