is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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