Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Girls should come with a carfax report
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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