"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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