She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
