I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
"it" just moved
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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