I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?