I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol