Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.

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(813): View more from Florida

His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.

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(303): View more from Colorado

No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16

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