Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i wish there were pregnant emoticons

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  (440): i wish there were pregnant emoticons http://tfl.nu/icoh
  Replies (11) Good night (655) Bad night (3050)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.

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  (402): Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery. http://tfl.nu/iy17
  Replies (64) Good night (1605) Bad night (9695)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.

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  (720): I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower. http://tfl.nu/yzkb
  Replies (44) Good night (12098) Bad night (943)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me

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  (904): i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me http://tfl.nu/h7rm
  Replies (32) Good night (772) Bad night (3954)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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  (507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7
  Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (2626)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.

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  (954): 8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on. http://tfl.nu/8x7p
  Replies (6) Good night (5389) Bad night (850)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system

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  (516): Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system http://tfl.nu/i7jp
  Replies (18) Good night (4829) Bad night (766)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?

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  (989): Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember? http://tfl.nu/1p12
  Replies (16) Good night (4536) Bad night (971)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.

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  (708): as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down. http://tfl.nu/b3e5
  Replies (4) Good night (476) Bad night (2115)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.

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  (207): I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me. http://tfl.nu/zr5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1377) Bad night (434)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...

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  (801): He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"... http://tfl.nu/bw0v
  Replies (4) Good night (362) Bad night (868)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2

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  (616): i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool. (616): someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2 http://tfl.nu/9ec4
  Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (688)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He can pick locks you know

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That's the reason for the naked stripper

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  (919): Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out (1-919): He can pick locks you know (919): That's the reason for the naked stripper http://tfl.nu/wpbv
  Replies (4) Good night (998) Bad night (247)
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  (707): View more from California

  New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.

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  (707): New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses. http://tfl.nu/6j5u
  Replies (2) Good night (237) Bad night (712)
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  (805): View more from California

  I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop

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  (805): I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop http://tfl.nu/0zhw
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (176)

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