Sponge bath it is.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
