I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
